Dream or God's Will?

By: Triem Meier

I came to Germany in 1984, right at the turn of summer to autumn. I married a German citizen. We were blessed with one daughter and one son. After 27 years of marriage, we finally had to separate. Since 2011, I have been living alone. I continue to work hard, and in this new life situation, I have continued and pursued my hobbies of dancing and singing, which I have fostered since childhood. Besides working for a company, I dance (traditional Indonesian dances) in many places, and these opportunities have received very positive responses from the German people. In addition, I sing in various choirs and participate in many concerts with choirs in various locations.

Photo: Triem Meier

Time flies so fast. In March 2019, I turned 60. Wow, I was so surprised to suddenly be 60, approaching the ripe old age of 70. Wow... But I am so grateful to God for granting me the gift of life to reach 60 years. I am so relieved that my children are independent, and I have even been blessed with grandchildren. How happy and grateful I am. In early November 2019, to be precise on November 1st, I cooked my favorite meal for the holiday. After eating, I suddenly felt very tired, as if feeling unwell. I tried to take a nap. At that time, I was able to sleep, but after waking up, my body felt even more uncomfortable, my stomach felt bloated or a bit strange, and the feeling of my stomach having tripled in size. Every time I saw food, I felt nauseous. What was going on? I asked myself. I took Paracetamol, the only medicine I had. Because I thought maybe it was because I was tired, but the medicine at that time did not help. My stomach still felt bloated and had gotten bigger, making me feel very uncomfortable ( sehr unangenehm ). However, on Sunday I still had time to go to a birthday party for a friend who is a good cook. I thought my appetite would return seeing the delicious food she always cooked. Apparently, it was no different for my stomach. Seeing delicious food made my stomach even more rebellious to enjoy the delicious food. Finally, the next day, Monday, November 4th, I went to Dr. Hausarzt for an examination. Because of my stomach complaints, the doctor immediately examined my stomach with an ultrasound . How shocked the doctor was to see the condition inside my stomach. In the lungs there was approximately 1 liter of water. The kidneys also looked very bad because the urinary tract seemed blocked or not flowing smoothly. It was also discovered that the lymph nodes were all swollen.

The doctor felt and suspected I had a very serious illness, but he couldn't immediately make a diagnosis. Therefore, the doctor immediately took blood for further testing. If the acute blood test results were as the doctor predicted, then I would get a call and have to come back to his office. In the meantime, I continued taking Paracetamol until the disease was found. The next day, I got a call and had to come back to the office. After a long conversation, the doctor finally informed me that the blood test results showed a very high tumor marker. Therefore, the doctor said that I most likely had cancer/Krebs disease, but it was not yet certain or it could still be lung, leukemia or lymph node, or even a tumor in the kidney, and there were many other problems. Therefore, the doctor would immediately send me to the hospital for further examination. Finally, according to the doctor's advice and my daughter's wishes, it was best for m